


a hopeless to be had

by alittlesummerwind



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Hanschen is right, I love these dorks, I'm sorry it's just so easy to make him a villian, M/M, More Bobby Maler hate, as per usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 00:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10058816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlesummerwind/pseuds/alittlesummerwind
Summary: Hanschen has known Ernst since they were little. Before they were ever in high school, and before Ernst got undeniably hot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> there’s a lot of italics in this, i’m sorry bahaha. this is my first ever SA fic so i’m playing around with characterization and stuff. i imagined andy as hanschen and gideon/josh castille as ernst when I wrote this, but you can pretend it’s whoever you desire. enjoy! also I'm sorry this is kind of a mess, I stared at it so long that I can't tell if it's bad or not lol so read at your discretion.
> 
> title is from “Paper Bag” by Fiona Apple

Hanschen has known Ernst since they were little. Before they were ever in high school, and before Ernst got undeniably hot.

“Seriously, it’s a problem,” Hanschen grumbles with his hand on forehead, being melodramatic as per usual.

“It’s really not. Why don’t you just talk to him and tell him?” Wendla says, familiar with the typical Rilow dramatics.

He flops back on her bed spread. “Because with him, it’s different, Wendla.”

She raises an eyebrow. “I can’t believe Hanschen Rilow is having problems talking to boys.” At this point, Wendla is holding back laughter.

“I’m not having a problem, I’m being pragmatic,” Hanschen sighs. “He’s just so like… innocent. I don’t want to scare him off.”

“I swear, there’s something up with you.” Wendla replies. “Just be normal.”

“The difference is stark, Wendla. I don’t see how you don’t get it. With Bobby Maler, I wasn’t afraid of talking to him because everyone knows how he is. If I said even half of the things I said to Ernst, I’m pretty sure he would pass out.” he explains, talking with his hands. After a moment of pensive silence, Hanschen speaks again. “And trust me, I want to say it.”

Wendla shoots him a confused look. “The fact that you’re considerate enough to even think of that is.. uncharacteristic, to say the least,” she says, utterly perplexed. “He must be pretty special to you.”

Hanschen nods. “I should go,” he says. He gathers his things and heads out the door, even more confused than he was before. Although Wendla didn’t seem to get it (and rightfully so), this was something else. Hanschen never spent more than maybe a month with someone before he got bored or moved on, but something told him this was different. Being around Ernst was always nice, even when they barely spoke or were trapped in some stupid assignment. He even got butterflies. What the hell was that about? Hanschen didn’t get butterflies, he gave people butterflies.

* * *

 

The next day in class, Ernst shows up in a new pair of khakis. Honestly, this is just becoming cruel. It’s almost as if he knows what he’s doing to Hanschen. Remember, be steely, reserved, chill, Hanschen reminds himself. As the boy slides into his seat, Hanschen gives him a soft “Hey” and they stay silent for a few minutes till Ernst drops a bomb.

“You know Bobby Maler, right?” Ernst says, all giddy with an absolutely innocent smile across his face.

Hanschen is reminded again of the sheer adorableness, which is funny, because his type is normally smoking hot and not _cute_. Also, he’s just brought up Bobby fucking Maler, so that makes him even more weirded out. “Uh, yeah. Why?”

Ernst gives a little excited laugh, which is equally as adorable, though a small part of Hanschen has died at this point. “He asked me out!”

Hanschen pauses to debate his options. Part of him wants to be his typical self and shoot back with some type of quick-witted response, but another part rationales that this is Ernst, after all.

“Hansi?”

He snaps back into it, suddenly very alert. “I promise you, whatever date he has planned with you will devolve into getting handsy in some cramped space with too many people nearby and-” Ernst stands up, visibly taken aback.

“What are you trying to say here?” His voice is smaller now.

“He’s.. not what you think he is. Trust me.”

“Can you just let me have this without turning it into a big thing about you?” Ernst spat, turning away quickly to go sit with Anna, who was probably going to kick his ass tonight. His suspicions were confirmed when his sister shot him a particularly spiteful look. He rolled his eyes in response but not before waiting for Ernst to turn around. The last thing Hanschen needed to deal with was more tension between the two of them. He took a deep breath and put his head in his hands, ready for the sweet release of death any time now.

* * *

 

Hanschen spent the rest of his evening reviewing AP Lit notes and sulking in his room. This crush (though he hated that word) was doing weird things to him- getting butterflies, hurt feelings.. It wasn’t quite right. The last time he had ever been this invested was Max, which was a whole other situation. After what must had been a few hours of moping, he heard a firm knock at his door and prepared for either his dad confronting him about something he didn’t do, or one of his sisters. Luckily, it was the latter. Even though Hanschen doesn’t bother to answer, Anna comes in anyway.

“Why were you being a dick to Ernst earlier?” she asks, arms crossed. He glares up at her, shutting his textbook shut.

“What makes you say that?” She sneers. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know.”

Hanschen lets out a soft sigh and sits up now, slightly more alert. “I don’t know.”

“Spit it out. You’re not the type to say things that you don’t mean, Hanschen. You can’t try and hide this from me.”

He flops down on his bed and focuses on the ceiling. “I just don’t want Bobby to fuck him over, that’s all. He deserves better.” Anna gives a sympathetic nod, although she doesn’t seem fully satiated by his answer.

“Is.. that it?”

Hanschen shakes his head, a weak no. “I lo-like him a lot, Anna.”

“Are you for real?”

“Yeah.” he responds meekly.

“You have to tell him-- maybe not now, but still..”

He keeps his eyes glued to the ceiling still. “Why would I ever? Clearly, he’s not into me. He’s preoccupied with Bobby.” Hanschen states, voice monotone and devoid of emotion.

“Dude, you don’t get it,” she replies. “Ernst has liked you for forever- I used to joke about setting you two up. You need to apologize and fess up, stat.” Hanschen sits up and looks at his sister now, who has a sociopathic kind of glimmer in her eyes. He rests his palm over his mouth and takes a deep breath, eyes widening as he exhales and takes this whole situation in.

After a moment of silence between the two siblings, Hanschen speaks again. “I should at least wait until after he tries it with Bobby,” he offers, trying to be somewhat courteous.

Anna nods in agreement. “That’s tomorrow night, so tomorrow, just give him a nice genuine apology and take it from there the next day. Easy enough. Just turn on that signature Rilow charm.” she winks, and turns for the door. “Night!”

He wishes it would be that easy.

* * *

 

Ernst and Hanschen go through the first half of the day without speaking. It almost felt awkward to walk the hallways without Ernst by his side, talking about a new piece he was working on, or telling animated stories from his other classes. After three hours Robel-free, he was already over it. Lunch time came and Ernst seemed rightfully upset. However, Hanschen chose to sit by Wendla, who naturally gravitates towards Ernst. She shoots Hanschen a suspicious look, but didn’t call him out, either, so he figured it was safe. “Ernst, can I talk to you for a second, outside or something?” Hanschen says. Ernst gives him a look of absolute confusion.

“Um, sure?” he replies, clearly nervous.

They step outside of the cafeteria, and Hanschen spies Moritz and Wendla whispering to each other out of the corner of his eye. “I’m sorry for bringing up all of that stuff about Bobby earlier,” he says, wringing his hands together. “I know you were excited, and that was shitty of me. I mean, I have my opinions.. but.. He could’ve changed, I don’t know, I’m just sorry for being an ass.”

Ernst visibly softens. “It’s fine, Hansi. Actually, we aren’t even going anymore, and you were sort of right, so..” he says, looking at the dirty linoleum floor.

“What?”

“Yeah. He tried to come onto me in the supply closet.” He laughs weakly. “And uh, to be fair, I was sort of into it in the time, then I realized the whole thing was sort of questionable.”

Hanschen laughs a little. “Figures. He’s that way.” He clears his throat, though, preparing for what may be the most awkward moment of his life. “I do need to tell you something else, though.”

“Yeah?”

“I really, really like you Ernst, and that’s why I was being sort of an ass earlier. I know that doesn’t exactly excuse my-” Ernst cuts him off with a deep kiss, and Hanschen leans into it, thinking of nothing but the beautiful boy in front of him and that this is happening. Their lips meet and Ernst grasps at Hanschen’s hair, causing him to let out a soft moan. Someone knocks on the glass separating them from the cafeteria, and who is it other than Anna, who is having a grand time making gagging motions as the rest of their friends gather around the window. Hanschen just throws up a middle finger, but Ernst laughs.

“They’re the worst,” Hanschen remarks as Melchior responds with the same motion. Ernst nods in reply.

“So much for Bobby?” Thea asks as she opens the door and the boys walk back into the cafeteria. The rest of their friends have already gone back to their lunch table- the period is almost over.

“I really would prefer to not have my first time on top of some buckets and a bottle of Windex, but that might just be me.” Ernst explains.

Thea claps a hand over her mouth. “Oh no, that’s not good.” He nods solemnly. “Clearly you don’t have a problem with getting busy outside of the cafeteria though.” she teases, and Ernst turns a bright pink shade.

Hanschen shakes his head, clear disgust in his voice. “You’re far too invested in my sex life.”

“You love it,” Thea responds, sticking out her tongue and turning away.

Ernst looks up with those doe-like brown eyes, a childlike smile of happiness on his face. Hanschen wraps an arm around him.

“You know, I love you.”

“I love you too, Hansi,” Ernst says, leaning into the embrace.

“We should probably go to class.”

“Or we could go to the supply closet-”

“Hanschen Johann Rilow!”

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is @totakedeadlyaim 
> 
> :) see ya around! thanks for reading!


End file.
